Monday, October 29, 2012

On Feeling Married

Today is our one-month anniversary. In some ways, I can't believe it's already been a month. In others, I can't believe it's only been a month.

One thing I know for sure is that I don't feel different.

I can honestly say that our relationship isn't any different now that we're married. We're the same people we were before September 29th, just with bands of metal on our left ring fingers and a marriage certificate in our fireproof safe. It's changed my health insurance and even my name (well, not legally quite yet), but not who I am.

I wish I felt different. Marriage is supposed to be a transformative experience, something that changes everything about you. That just hasn't been my experience. From day one of our relationship, Adam and I have been very committed to one another. I have never once felt that we would break up and neither of us has ever threatened to walk away. Maybe this level of security in our relationship is why marriage hasn't changed anything. Maybe our marriage is too new for things to feel different just yet. Maybe things never will feel different. As long as we're as happy as we are today, I'm OK with that.

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